it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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