Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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