Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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