i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
ttyl tear gas
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
