she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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