I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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