my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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