just tell him i said nine months
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
