in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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