I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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