haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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