literally had 100 drinks last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
