It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize