Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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