My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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