apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
