I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
