New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
