he puts the penis in happiness.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize