I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
