piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
