He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
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You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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