In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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