Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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