Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
