We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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