I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
