I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
