so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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