Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
