Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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