she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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