Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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