I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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