yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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