Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize