Plan B is the new Plan A
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
