Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
