i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
