i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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