my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
