Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
