we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
