He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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