you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
