was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
