I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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