hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
