butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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