well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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