yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
