I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
