you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize