Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
