Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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