If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
