what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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