...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
