I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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