just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
