we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
