NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
