I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
