the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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