First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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