i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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